Frequently Asked Dumb Questions
Whoever said “there is no such thing as a stupid question” never ever ran a fishing tournament. Because let me tell you, we’ve had some doozies over the years. Here are the top dumb questions listed in no particular order. These are actual exchanges via text or emails.
Q: When you say the tournament is free (air finger quotes), what does that mean?
A: It means there is no cost to fish the tournament.
Q: But how much do I have to pay?
Q: OK. But suppose I want to get the t-shirts and a goody bucket. How much then?
A: Listen bro, it’s free. You get the shirts, you get the swag, you get some drinks. Gratis.
Q: Oh, I see now. So the shirts and drinks and swag are free. How much does it cost to fish?
A: Listen, what’s your name? I don’t even want you at the tournament any more.
Q: What if I don’t have my passport? Can I still participate in the Bimini Start?
A: Really? Where are you guys getting these questions? The “Bimini Start” is another name for a shotgun start. Going to Bimini is not necessary. Geez!
Q: What if you don’t want to kill the dolphin? Can you take a photo?
A: This is a kill tournament so you have to bring in the fish to weigh.
Q: You’re barbarians! How can you kill Flipper?
A: Who put you up to this? You pranking me? These are dolphin fish a.k.a. Mahi Mahi – not the porpoise. We are not killing Flipper!
Q: If I have 4 anglers, a captain, two mates, a photographer, a video guy and a drone operator – do they all need to be registered?
A: No just the 4 people fishing need to be registered.
Q: In that case can you remove all the other guys from my entry? You have the registration form; it’s a 21 Bayliner named “Wet Spot.”
A: Sure, I’ll change it for you. “Wet Spot,” Huh?
Q: Are the boat washes really free?
Q: Do the girls do a good job?
Q: Will they wax the boat?
A: Listen man, they barely speak English.
Q: Can I be a judge for the Bikini Contest?
A: Sorry, but that is reserved for sponsors.
Q: How can I become a sponsor?
A: Call me.
Q: When is the tournament?
A: You mean the date splashed all over the website and at the top of all the posters and flyers? That’s May 18th for the party and the fishing is Saturday the 20th.
To sum it up, we really enjoy the dumb questions we get and to tell you the truth, I believe that most of these are people yanking our chains. It can’t possibly be that people are this dumb, can it?
See you at the Grove SLAM! this May 20th… and remember, there is no such thing as a dumb question!